I learned something new about myself yesterday. It was something I never would have suspected, especially given my lack of hand-eye coordination in most instances. But apparently I am a pretty good croquet player.
I went to a friend's birthday party in Salinas yesterday and they had a few activities planned. Most of the time, I stay away from any sort of competition, especially with people I don't know. I tend to get super competitive and I don't like to lose, so I often subscribe to the attitude that I should just not play at all if I am not going to win. It's my attitude with board games, card games, video games and most athletic endeavors.
But I didn't want to be a spoil sport - and the hosts said it was "mandatory" to play - so I lined up to see if anyone would pick me for their team. Since no one at the party knew my name, except for the hosts, I thought I might be picked last, but I was selected in the first go around. Maybe I looked like I knew my way around a croquet ball.
First off, let me just say that the croquet "arena" wasn't the best. Actually, it was set up once in a wily nily fashion by one guy at the party. Then another guy actually read the directions and set it up according to the diagram included in the game rules. Then a little kid came along and pulled out all the "wickets," the white plastic things you have to get the croquet balls through. For a while it seemed like the game might not happen, but then the birthday girl insisted that we play.
The course includes two sticks at each end and six wickets. You have to go through five in one direction and five in the other direction. The last two were staggered because we didn't have enough space before running into the pavement. Parts of the course were also close to dirt, tree roots, sticks and piles of leaves. But we managed.
I was on the green team with two other girls. For our first round, the first shooter, or whatever players are called in croquet, ended up a little off course. See, if you go past the wicket, you have to back track around to the front of the wicket. Luckily for me, when I was up, there were plenty of croquet balls in my path. I hit two on my way back toward the wicket, giving myself two extra hits. The rules say you get an extra hit for passing through a wicket, two for hitting another player's ball and one for hitting the stick at the end.
My team was ahead for most of the game. We avoided the death trap that was the dirt area near the edge of the arena. It sloped downward and many a player ended up in it. The one down side to being in the lead is that there were not that many other balls nearby to get the extra strokes, so we mostly ended up with one stroke each, while our opponents were often getting three.
In, the end, everyone's interest in the game waned as it headed into hour two. My team members stopped taking their turns and finally the team that had been in last place for most of the game ended up in first. We were going to continue competing to see who would take last place. But everyone kind of lost interest. At the end of the game, green was the further behind on the course. But at least prizes went to the winning team and the losing team.
I'll probably never play croquet again, but it would be interesting to see if my early shots were just beginner's luck or if I actually might have some sort of skill.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
A little heavy reading for the summer
I like to read. I do it at the gym when I am on the treadmill or a bike or an elliptical machine. opting for "People," "Entertainment Weekly," "Esquire" or "GQ." I do it every night before I go to sleep, lying in bed, with a "New Yorker" propped up on my pillow . I do it at work as I edit my stories or those of coworkers, or when I take a break to read a few L.A. Times articles online.
The problem with all this reading is that it leaves little time to read books, which I also love to consume. So that's were resolution No. 1 came in for the year. I've already reported on the first four books I read this year: "Juliet, Naked," by Nick Hornby, "Her Fearful Symmetry" by Audrey Niffeneger, "Too Much Happiness," by Alice Munro and "A Version of the Truth" by Jennifer Kaufmann and Karen Mack.
I've been better at the reading than blogging about the reading, as I have read three other books so far this year to bring the total to seven. Here is a summary of the others:
Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel - I picked this book up because my sister had it on her computer desk and said it was pretty good. Even though it's a graphic novel, I still think it counts as a book. Besides, this little graphic novel had more baggage than an 800-page Wally Lamb story.
The book is basically a memoir of Bechdel's odd family life. First off, the family lives in a funeral home, which her father runs. Second, her father is apparently gay and has a thing for barely legal men. Third, Bechdel discovers that she herself is gay. All of these issues are convoluted by her father's tragic death, a death that could have been an accident or a suicide, something Bechdel is still trying to figure out. Overall the book is depressing and Bechdel's humor is on the dark side.
The Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood - I've been a fan of Margaret Atwood's writing since I was a high school student. I devoured her books in college and always look forward to a new release from the Canadian author. Her latest book, "The Year of the Flood," is a prequel to her novel "Oryx and Crake," which featured a post-apocalyptic world. It's been a few years since I read it so I don't remember all the details, but there were elements and characters in the latest novel that felt familiar to me.
Atwood's genius is that she creates future worlds in her novels that are just enough like the modern day to be believeable - it's just a world were so many of the negatives are stretched to the limit. For instance, the main characters in the book are vegetarians who have rebeled against a culture that eats meat at all costs - and it is meat of questionable origin. It is a world where endangered animals have become delicacies at restaurants and genetically mutated animals have escaped from science labs.
The book has an ensemble of characters and the point of view switches from chapter to chapter. Most of the narratives are told from a female point of view, which is one thing I've always liked about Atwood's work, that she pays so much attention to the female persepctive. The novel follows a few characters who join up with a cult - some because they are believers, some because they want the protection of a group and others because their parents have forced them into it.
I can't say that this book was a fun read, but it is another example of Atwood's good works. It made me want to re-read "Oryx and Crake," which I might do as soon as I complete my resolution.
Passing For Thin: Losing Half My Weight and Finding Myself by Frances Kuffel - I found this book in a box from our storage and started reading the first few pages when waiting for my mom to get ready to walk the dog. I put it down and forgot about it until I had a few hours to myself last weekend. I figured I might as well use it to read a book and I picked it up again. It was a book my mom had bought, but she only vaguely remembered reading it, commenting that she didn't remember it being very good.
The book is a memoir by Kuffel, who discusses her addiction to food, which led to her all-time high weight of 338. About half the book focuses on her "fat" life and how miserable everything was. The second half of the book focuses on her "thin" life and how miserable she still seemed to be. She mentions a tough childhood, but never really goes into the details of it except to talk about an older brother who picked on her. Still, she refers to the family home as the place of her soul and seems to get along just fine with her mother and father. As a compulsive eater, Kuffel never really delves into the reasons for her addiction.
When I picked up the book, I thought I might relate to Kuffel's struggle as someone who has realized that when life gets tough I tend to give up my gym routines and turn to junk food. I rededicated myself to working out this year and eating healthy and have been happy with the results of weight loss, less stress at work and good health.
But there was really nothing in Kuffel's story to which I could relate. One, I found her food plan of eliminating all sugar and flour to be impossible to maintain (it turns out it was, as Kuffel has a 2009 book out that chronicles gaining half of her weight back and then trying to lose it again.) If I want a cookie, I'll have a cookie and I don't feel guilty about it. Two, she didn't exercise at all during most of her weight loss, which I've found to be important to me. It lowers my general stress level and just feels good to be building up muscle.
The biggest issue with the book was just the "woe is me" pity party Kuffel wants to throw for herself. She's unhappy because she was adopted, her older brother was mean, her job sucks, she's never had a boyfriend. But even after she takes the first step of losing the weight she still seems unwilling to take responsibility and change the other things in her life that she doesn't like.
Even when she takes the first tenative steps into dating, she choses only men she thinks are unattractive because she still believes that is all that would actually like her. The most frustrating moment in the book is when she describes a date with a guy who at the beginning of the date says she should have listed herself as "a few extra pounds." And then she continues with the date AND goes back to his apartment, where he continues to insult her until she finally leaves. I just can't imagine having such low self-esteem as to be someone's verbal punching bag, even for the duration of one date.
By the time I realized how much I disliked the book, I was already half down with it and decided I might as well finish it. I didn't find the book that engaging and I found parts of it a little hard to follow. Kuffel uses a lot of little inside jokes that were not well explained. The book just didn't have a flow to it.
I probably will never read Kuffel's second book, about gaining back her weight and losing it, or her book on dating. But I do wish her well in her attempt to keep her weight off because I know how easy it can be to fall back into the old routines.
Even though summer is nearly over, I think I might pick one of the books from the easy summer beach book lists just to read something a little lighter. After these three books, getting back to the "New Yorker" will actually seem like lighter reading.
The problem with all this reading is that it leaves little time to read books, which I also love to consume. So that's were resolution No. 1 came in for the year. I've already reported on the first four books I read this year: "Juliet, Naked," by Nick Hornby, "Her Fearful Symmetry" by Audrey Niffeneger, "Too Much Happiness," by Alice Munro and "A Version of the Truth" by Jennifer Kaufmann and Karen Mack.
I've been better at the reading than blogging about the reading, as I have read three other books so far this year to bring the total to seven. Here is a summary of the others:
Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel - I picked this book up because my sister had it on her computer desk and said it was pretty good. Even though it's a graphic novel, I still think it counts as a book. Besides, this little graphic novel had more baggage than an 800-page Wally Lamb story.
The book is basically a memoir of Bechdel's odd family life. First off, the family lives in a funeral home, which her father runs. Second, her father is apparently gay and has a thing for barely legal men. Third, Bechdel discovers that she herself is gay. All of these issues are convoluted by her father's tragic death, a death that could have been an accident or a suicide, something Bechdel is still trying to figure out. Overall the book is depressing and Bechdel's humor is on the dark side.
The Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood - I've been a fan of Margaret Atwood's writing since I was a high school student. I devoured her books in college and always look forward to a new release from the Canadian author. Her latest book, "The Year of the Flood," is a prequel to her novel "Oryx and Crake," which featured a post-apocalyptic world. It's been a few years since I read it so I don't remember all the details, but there were elements and characters in the latest novel that felt familiar to me.
Atwood's genius is that she creates future worlds in her novels that are just enough like the modern day to be believeable - it's just a world were so many of the negatives are stretched to the limit. For instance, the main characters in the book are vegetarians who have rebeled against a culture that eats meat at all costs - and it is meat of questionable origin. It is a world where endangered animals have become delicacies at restaurants and genetically mutated animals have escaped from science labs.
The book has an ensemble of characters and the point of view switches from chapter to chapter. Most of the narratives are told from a female point of view, which is one thing I've always liked about Atwood's work, that she pays so much attention to the female persepctive. The novel follows a few characters who join up with a cult - some because they are believers, some because they want the protection of a group and others because their parents have forced them into it.
I can't say that this book was a fun read, but it is another example of Atwood's good works. It made me want to re-read "Oryx and Crake," which I might do as soon as I complete my resolution.
Passing For Thin: Losing Half My Weight and Finding Myself by Frances Kuffel - I found this book in a box from our storage and started reading the first few pages when waiting for my mom to get ready to walk the dog. I put it down and forgot about it until I had a few hours to myself last weekend. I figured I might as well use it to read a book and I picked it up again. It was a book my mom had bought, but she only vaguely remembered reading it, commenting that she didn't remember it being very good.
The book is a memoir by Kuffel, who discusses her addiction to food, which led to her all-time high weight of 338. About half the book focuses on her "fat" life and how miserable everything was. The second half of the book focuses on her "thin" life and how miserable she still seemed to be. She mentions a tough childhood, but never really goes into the details of it except to talk about an older brother who picked on her. Still, she refers to the family home as the place of her soul and seems to get along just fine with her mother and father. As a compulsive eater, Kuffel never really delves into the reasons for her addiction.
When I picked up the book, I thought I might relate to Kuffel's struggle as someone who has realized that when life gets tough I tend to give up my gym routines and turn to junk food. I rededicated myself to working out this year and eating healthy and have been happy with the results of weight loss, less stress at work and good health.
But there was really nothing in Kuffel's story to which I could relate. One, I found her food plan of eliminating all sugar and flour to be impossible to maintain (it turns out it was, as Kuffel has a 2009 book out that chronicles gaining half of her weight back and then trying to lose it again.) If I want a cookie, I'll have a cookie and I don't feel guilty about it. Two, she didn't exercise at all during most of her weight loss, which I've found to be important to me. It lowers my general stress level and just feels good to be building up muscle.
The biggest issue with the book was just the "woe is me" pity party Kuffel wants to throw for herself. She's unhappy because she was adopted, her older brother was mean, her job sucks, she's never had a boyfriend. But even after she takes the first step of losing the weight she still seems unwilling to take responsibility and change the other things in her life that she doesn't like.
Even when she takes the first tenative steps into dating, she choses only men she thinks are unattractive because she still believes that is all that would actually like her. The most frustrating moment in the book is when she describes a date with a guy who at the beginning of the date says she should have listed herself as "a few extra pounds." And then she continues with the date AND goes back to his apartment, where he continues to insult her until she finally leaves. I just can't imagine having such low self-esteem as to be someone's verbal punching bag, even for the duration of one date.
By the time I realized how much I disliked the book, I was already half down with it and decided I might as well finish it. I didn't find the book that engaging and I found parts of it a little hard to follow. Kuffel uses a lot of little inside jokes that were not well explained. The book just didn't have a flow to it.
I probably will never read Kuffel's second book, about gaining back her weight and losing it, or her book on dating. But I do wish her well in her attempt to keep her weight off because I know how easy it can be to fall back into the old routines.
Even though summer is nearly over, I think I might pick one of the books from the easy summer beach book lists just to read something a little lighter. After these three books, getting back to the "New Yorker" will actually seem like lighter reading.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
A few more resolutions complete
When it came to making my list of New Year's resolutions back in January, I didn't put a lot of thought into them. I just listed off some random things I wanted to do this year - and thought making it public might help keep the pressure on to actually do them.
As I wrote yesterday, some of these resolutions have been a little bit harder than others - like the date thing.
Since it is nearing the end of August - with really only four months left to complete the list of 19 items I made for myself - I thought it was time to check back in and see what I have left to accomplish. I have to admit, I didn't spend too much time thinking about these resolutions during the summer. There was just so much else to do - graduation parties, baby showers, weddings, watching back-to-back-to-back episodes of "The Gilmore Girls."
I was pleasantly surprised to find that I have completed 8 of my 19 resolutions and that one of them is kind of obsolete now. One of those resolutions had been to decide what kind of car I wanted to buy, but since I sort of took over driving my mom's Saturn when she bought a new used Saturn I didn't really decide anything. Still, I think it should count as complete.
I also quit Farmville months ago. I was torn because so many of my relatives and friends were playing it - so for weeks I would still log on to send supplies and gifts to all the people I knew who were playing it. The game was never fun. I mean, it consists of clicking on squares to "sow, seed and harvest" plants. It's much more exciting to pick real vegetables in my backyard. Finally I realized I just had to give it up cold turkey. It has been months since I've started up the Facebook game and I no longer feel bad for ignoring all those requests I get from other people. It was just too much of a time suck. Now when I see all those please for help, I just ignore them.
I also feel like I should be able to claim No. 14 on the list - keep up the gym routines. Since January, I've been going to the gym an average of six days a week. I run about 10 miles a week. I've completed two 5Ks and have plans to do another one next month. I even signed up for a boot camp class at my gym that has been kicking my butt twice a week and have a gift certificate for one-on-one sessions with the same trainer. Though it's not the end of the year quite yet, I feel confident that I will continue with my rigorous routine. The benefits of it have been too great to ignore - sleeping better, getting down to the same size I was when I was 23, not feeling super stressed at work and having visible muscle mass - so the routines came with a lot of motivation.
I've read a couple books I haven't reported on yet and I am nearly complete with another one. The sad thing is I have only really enjoyed a couple of the books I've read and a lot of them just haven't been that interesting. More on this resolution when the next book is complete.
Some of the other resolutions haven't really gone quite as well. I have yet to watch any of the Academy Award best picture winners - aside from ones I've watched in the past. I guess I just got too wrapped up in getting "The Gilmore Girls" from Netflix, and a few other TV series, so I haven't put much effort into it. As soon as I finish with "The Gilmore Girls" and perhaps the last season of "Criminal Minds," I promise to add a few movies to the queue.
I have not learned the family recipe for gnocchi though I made it known to my aunt that I want her to make them with me. I am sure it will happen before the end of the year. I also have not made ravioli from scratch or pasta sauce from scratch. The goal was to use tomatoes from my garden to make the sauce and then make the raviolis. Unfortunately, of the two roma tomato plants I put in the ground, one died of and the other has just now begun to produce ripe tomatoes. The weather has just been off so much this year we only have cherry tomatoes in abundance and those wouldn't really work well for sauce I have in mind. I still haven't decided exactly what I will do about the sauce since even tomatoes at the farmers markets haven't been that good this year.
But I still have four more months to make some progress so here's to hoping I can finish up the last 11 resolutions.
As I wrote yesterday, some of these resolutions have been a little bit harder than others - like the date thing.
Since it is nearing the end of August - with really only four months left to complete the list of 19 items I made for myself - I thought it was time to check back in and see what I have left to accomplish. I have to admit, I didn't spend too much time thinking about these resolutions during the summer. There was just so much else to do - graduation parties, baby showers, weddings, watching back-to-back-to-back episodes of "The Gilmore Girls."
I was pleasantly surprised to find that I have completed 8 of my 19 resolutions and that one of them is kind of obsolete now. One of those resolutions had been to decide what kind of car I wanted to buy, but since I sort of took over driving my mom's Saturn when she bought a new used Saturn I didn't really decide anything. Still, I think it should count as complete.
I also quit Farmville months ago. I was torn because so many of my relatives and friends were playing it - so for weeks I would still log on to send supplies and gifts to all the people I knew who were playing it. The game was never fun. I mean, it consists of clicking on squares to "sow, seed and harvest" plants. It's much more exciting to pick real vegetables in my backyard. Finally I realized I just had to give it up cold turkey. It has been months since I've started up the Facebook game and I no longer feel bad for ignoring all those requests I get from other people. It was just too much of a time suck. Now when I see all those please for help, I just ignore them.
I also feel like I should be able to claim No. 14 on the list - keep up the gym routines. Since January, I've been going to the gym an average of six days a week. I run about 10 miles a week. I've completed two 5Ks and have plans to do another one next month. I even signed up for a boot camp class at my gym that has been kicking my butt twice a week and have a gift certificate for one-on-one sessions with the same trainer. Though it's not the end of the year quite yet, I feel confident that I will continue with my rigorous routine. The benefits of it have been too great to ignore - sleeping better, getting down to the same size I was when I was 23, not feeling super stressed at work and having visible muscle mass - so the routines came with a lot of motivation.
I've read a couple books I haven't reported on yet and I am nearly complete with another one. The sad thing is I have only really enjoyed a couple of the books I've read and a lot of them just haven't been that interesting. More on this resolution when the next book is complete.
Some of the other resolutions haven't really gone quite as well. I have yet to watch any of the Academy Award best picture winners - aside from ones I've watched in the past. I guess I just got too wrapped up in getting "The Gilmore Girls" from Netflix, and a few other TV series, so I haven't put much effort into it. As soon as I finish with "The Gilmore Girls" and perhaps the last season of "Criminal Minds," I promise to add a few movies to the queue.
I have not learned the family recipe for gnocchi though I made it known to my aunt that I want her to make them with me. I am sure it will happen before the end of the year. I also have not made ravioli from scratch or pasta sauce from scratch. The goal was to use tomatoes from my garden to make the sauce and then make the raviolis. Unfortunately, of the two roma tomato plants I put in the ground, one died of and the other has just now begun to produce ripe tomatoes. The weather has just been off so much this year we only have cherry tomatoes in abundance and those wouldn't really work well for sauce I have in mind. I still haven't decided exactly what I will do about the sauce since even tomatoes at the farmers markets haven't been that good this year.
But I still have four more months to make some progress so here's to hoping I can finish up the last 11 resolutions.
Navigating the world of (not) dating
When I made a list of 19 New Year's Resolutions, I'm not sure exactly what prompted me to go on one date on the list. The truth is I've never really dated much. I generally hang out with guys as friends, have crushes from a distance and on rare occasions it turns into more.
So perhaps this resolution was influenced by the three weddings I had to attend this year or all the unsolicited advice I've been getting about dating in the last few years. Mostly I think it was just an opportunity to challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone, like a lot of my other resolutions.
But this resolution has been a little harder to complete than any of the eight I've crossed off the list. It seems like a simple enough resolution, one date, but it really hasn't been. I have to admit that I am not the most social person. I spend a lot of time at work and a lot of time at the gym and a lot of time at movie theaters, so I probably don't open myself up to many opportunities to meet people. But I swear, I have been making an effort.
First, I started telling friends about my resolution in hopes they might set me up on a blind date. All of them seemed to think it was a good idea, but most of them said the only guys they know who are single are jerks. So that avenue hasn't been very fruitful.
Early in the year I created a profile on okcupid.com, a website a friend recommended since he knew someone who met a girlfriend on the site. It's basically the same as any other dating site - except its free and the creators maintain an interesting blog that mines data from the site.
The free thing seemed like a plus to me since I would have to shell out $30 or more a month for a dating site that probably wouldn't work. But as it turns out, the free site is also a bastion of men who are in the middle of a career change, figuring out what to study in school or taking a break (all those things translate to unemployed.) I haven't had much luck on the site, whether it be because of my photos, my master's degree or my reporter's salary, but I have gotten a few laughs out of it.
I got a message from one guy who in the first correspondence asked if I wanted to be friends with benefits. A quick look at his profile revealed he was unemployed, living with his parents and unattractive. So yeah, it was easy to pass on that one. There was also a guy who e-mailed me multiple times in between each message I sent him, and within the first week of communicating with me told me about his very ill mother. I had images of him being frantic to get married so dear old mom could be there for the wedding. His over eagerness was just too much for me.
There was one guy I actually considered meeting in person - he was funny over e-mail, well-educated and cute in his picture, even though his listed height was a bit on the short side for me. We actually got to the point of talking about getting together. I mentioned we could see a movie together - so I could get a resolution and a movie column out of the way at the same time, even if the date was a bust. He said it would be fun and he was available in a couple weeks. And then when I wrote him back to confirm a date, he went silent. There was no response back - ever. Guess he changed his mind.
Personally, I haven't been a fan of my online interactions so last month I decided to try something different. I saw a posting from Solis Winery on Facebook about an "It's Just Lunch" singles event. It was only $15 and it was in Gilroy so I wouldn't have to drive far on a weeknight. The cover included wine tasting, appetizers and a chance to meet new people. I figured I would go and check it out. My one hesitation was that I worried it might be just a long pitch for the "It's Just Lunch" dating service, which sets up busy professionals on lunch dates.
When I arrived at Solis Winery, it wasn't a long pitch at all. It was a strange crowd, however. When I walked into the tasting room, most of the people there were at least 20 years older than I am. Some of the women came across as very much on the prowl. And with some of the others, I could see why they were single. One talked about how many dating services she has joined through the years and another talked about her divorce - 13 years ago. Really didn't seem like first meeting topics to me, but what do I know as I can't even get one date.
I was getting ready to make an early exit when two guys who looked more around my age walked in. I noticed them because they seemed so out of place. They were both kinda cute, but I probably would never have walked up to them on my own. One of the guys came over to the group of women I was talking with and introduced himself. It seemed like a perfect opportunity to get to know him better - but one of the women would not stop talking. Basically no one else could get a word in. I was again thinking about making an exit again. But then the group I was stuck in decided to buy a bottle of wine and take the conversation outside. I thought it might be a chance to get to know the only guys there around my age a little bit.
Unfortunately, I had consumed only a little wine so all the other women, who were still drinking, were a lot more talkative and flirtatious than I was. They were, perhaps, also a little charmed by the fact that they had the younger guys at their table. I talked a bit, but didn't add much to the conversation. I did, however, find out that the two guys, who were friends did not really belong. They had been invited to the event by a friend who worked for "It's Just Lunch" who wanted to increase the male-to-female ratio.
At the end of the night, the one guy asked to exchange business cards with me for a potential story for my newspaper. The other guy exchanged numbers with all the women at the table, programmed the numbers in and then called so we would all have his number, too. A week after the event, I texted him and asked if he wanted to hang out some time. He said sure. We exchanged a couple more texts - and then he went silent. I guess I could have followed up with him again, or suggested a specific date, but I think I read too much of the book "He's Just Not That Into You" because he seemed clear to me he wasn't that into me. And maybe that's one of my problems with dating - I just don't want to waste too much time on people who aren't interested in me.
And as it turns out, the hard sell for "It's Just Lunch" came a couple weeks later when the cute guy's friend called me five days in a row when I was busy at work to talk about my interest in a membership. Seems the woman who barely talked to me at Solis except to mark me off as present had told the sales girl I was "really interested" in learning more about the membership. I finally called the woman back and said I might be up to more pay-as-you-go events, but the special $200 off membership just wasn't for me. And three days later she called me again to say she remembered we had a conversation, but couldn't remember exactly what we talked about. I reminded her that, no, I did not want to join. Solis and "It's Just Lunch" paired up for another event last week, but I skipped it.
As it turns out, I am beginning to think this might be the one resolution I don't resolve this year. And to be honest, that's just fine by me, since all this not even really dating stuff is kind of a roller coaster ride in itself. I'd rather just stick to having a crush from afar, say on the cute guy I see a couple times a week at the gym. I don't know his name. I don't know what he does for a living. But he smiles at me and says hi when I see him.
So perhaps this resolution was influenced by the three weddings I had to attend this year or all the unsolicited advice I've been getting about dating in the last few years. Mostly I think it was just an opportunity to challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone, like a lot of my other resolutions.
But this resolution has been a little harder to complete than any of the eight I've crossed off the list. It seems like a simple enough resolution, one date, but it really hasn't been. I have to admit that I am not the most social person. I spend a lot of time at work and a lot of time at the gym and a lot of time at movie theaters, so I probably don't open myself up to many opportunities to meet people. But I swear, I have been making an effort.
First, I started telling friends about my resolution in hopes they might set me up on a blind date. All of them seemed to think it was a good idea, but most of them said the only guys they know who are single are jerks. So that avenue hasn't been very fruitful.
Early in the year I created a profile on okcupid.com, a website a friend recommended since he knew someone who met a girlfriend on the site. It's basically the same as any other dating site - except its free and the creators maintain an interesting blog that mines data from the site.
The free thing seemed like a plus to me since I would have to shell out $30 or more a month for a dating site that probably wouldn't work. But as it turns out, the free site is also a bastion of men who are in the middle of a career change, figuring out what to study in school or taking a break (all those things translate to unemployed.) I haven't had much luck on the site, whether it be because of my photos, my master's degree or my reporter's salary, but I have gotten a few laughs out of it.
I got a message from one guy who in the first correspondence asked if I wanted to be friends with benefits. A quick look at his profile revealed he was unemployed, living with his parents and unattractive. So yeah, it was easy to pass on that one. There was also a guy who e-mailed me multiple times in between each message I sent him, and within the first week of communicating with me told me about his very ill mother. I had images of him being frantic to get married so dear old mom could be there for the wedding. His over eagerness was just too much for me.
There was one guy I actually considered meeting in person - he was funny over e-mail, well-educated and cute in his picture, even though his listed height was a bit on the short side for me. We actually got to the point of talking about getting together. I mentioned we could see a movie together - so I could get a resolution and a movie column out of the way at the same time, even if the date was a bust. He said it would be fun and he was available in a couple weeks. And then when I wrote him back to confirm a date, he went silent. There was no response back - ever. Guess he changed his mind.
Personally, I haven't been a fan of my online interactions so last month I decided to try something different. I saw a posting from Solis Winery on Facebook about an "It's Just Lunch" singles event. It was only $15 and it was in Gilroy so I wouldn't have to drive far on a weeknight. The cover included wine tasting, appetizers and a chance to meet new people. I figured I would go and check it out. My one hesitation was that I worried it might be just a long pitch for the "It's Just Lunch" dating service, which sets up busy professionals on lunch dates.
When I arrived at Solis Winery, it wasn't a long pitch at all. It was a strange crowd, however. When I walked into the tasting room, most of the people there were at least 20 years older than I am. Some of the women came across as very much on the prowl. And with some of the others, I could see why they were single. One talked about how many dating services she has joined through the years and another talked about her divorce - 13 years ago. Really didn't seem like first meeting topics to me, but what do I know as I can't even get one date.
I was getting ready to make an early exit when two guys who looked more around my age walked in. I noticed them because they seemed so out of place. They were both kinda cute, but I probably would never have walked up to them on my own. One of the guys came over to the group of women I was talking with and introduced himself. It seemed like a perfect opportunity to get to know him better - but one of the women would not stop talking. Basically no one else could get a word in. I was again thinking about making an exit again. But then the group I was stuck in decided to buy a bottle of wine and take the conversation outside. I thought it might be a chance to get to know the only guys there around my age a little bit.
Unfortunately, I had consumed only a little wine so all the other women, who were still drinking, were a lot more talkative and flirtatious than I was. They were, perhaps, also a little charmed by the fact that they had the younger guys at their table. I talked a bit, but didn't add much to the conversation. I did, however, find out that the two guys, who were friends did not really belong. They had been invited to the event by a friend who worked for "It's Just Lunch" who wanted to increase the male-to-female ratio.
At the end of the night, the one guy asked to exchange business cards with me for a potential story for my newspaper. The other guy exchanged numbers with all the women at the table, programmed the numbers in and then called so we would all have his number, too. A week after the event, I texted him and asked if he wanted to hang out some time. He said sure. We exchanged a couple more texts - and then he went silent. I guess I could have followed up with him again, or suggested a specific date, but I think I read too much of the book "He's Just Not That Into You" because he seemed clear to me he wasn't that into me. And maybe that's one of my problems with dating - I just don't want to waste too much time on people who aren't interested in me.
And as it turns out, the hard sell for "It's Just Lunch" came a couple weeks later when the cute guy's friend called me five days in a row when I was busy at work to talk about my interest in a membership. Seems the woman who barely talked to me at Solis except to mark me off as present had told the sales girl I was "really interested" in learning more about the membership. I finally called the woman back and said I might be up to more pay-as-you-go events, but the special $200 off membership just wasn't for me. And three days later she called me again to say she remembered we had a conversation, but couldn't remember exactly what we talked about. I reminded her that, no, I did not want to join. Solis and "It's Just Lunch" paired up for another event last week, but I skipped it.
As it turns out, I am beginning to think this might be the one resolution I don't resolve this year. And to be honest, that's just fine by me, since all this not even really dating stuff is kind of a roller coaster ride in itself. I'd rather just stick to having a crush from afar, say on the cute guy I see a couple times a week at the gym. I don't know his name. I don't know what he does for a living. But he smiles at me and says hi when I see him.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Addicted to the Gilmore Girls
A few years ago, a co-worker whom I loaned dvds quite frequently kept telling me that I should watch "Gilmore Girls." He - yes, it was a he - said the show was great and he was always supposed to bring in the DVDs, which he owned, for me to borrow.
I never watched the show when it was on TV because it was already on for a few years before I realized it existed. It seems to be a trend with me, to wait until a series has gone off the air to then get the DVDs from Netflix and watch the entire series at once.
That's how I watched Sopranos, which was loaned to me by a cousin who had all the seasons. That's how I caught up on "The Office" when it was already a few seasons in. I watched it on DVD, and then watched the most recent season on NBC online so that I was eventually caught up and ready to start the new season. Ditto with "30 Rock."
I did the same thing with "Criminal Minds" this year. My mom started taping random episodes of it when there wasn't much on TV. It was a mix of episodes from different, seasons, out of order. We finally decided to rent the series DVD by DVD from Netflix so that we could watch it from start to finish. It was a chance to get to see the relationships between the agents of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit grow. Plus we didn't have to wait months between the cliff hangers at the end of each season. The best part with "Criminal Minds" is we still have one more season to watch on DVD - last year will be released in September - and then we get to start with the latest season.
So now that we got caught up on "Criminal Minds," we decided to start watching "Gilmore Girls" and "Angel." The "Girls" we are getting from Netflix, and Angel we are watching on instant stream from Netflix. I have to say, though, my coworker was right. If I go a few days without watching an episode of the Gilmores, I feel a little bit of withdrawal. I love the quirkiness of the show and the sarcasm of mom Lorelai (Lauren Graham) and daughter Rory (Alexis Bledel.) The pair grew on me quickly and I like the supporting cast, including appearances by actors who appeared in other shows later in their careers such as Milo Ventimiglia and Adam Brody.
The one bad thing about watching a series that has already ended is that once I get to the last disc of the last season, there is nothing left to see. For now, I've got a few more seasons to go.
I never watched the show when it was on TV because it was already on for a few years before I realized it existed. It seems to be a trend with me, to wait until a series has gone off the air to then get the DVDs from Netflix and watch the entire series at once.
That's how I watched Sopranos, which was loaned to me by a cousin who had all the seasons. That's how I caught up on "The Office" when it was already a few seasons in. I watched it on DVD, and then watched the most recent season on NBC online so that I was eventually caught up and ready to start the new season. Ditto with "30 Rock."
I did the same thing with "Criminal Minds" this year. My mom started taping random episodes of it when there wasn't much on TV. It was a mix of episodes from different, seasons, out of order. We finally decided to rent the series DVD by DVD from Netflix so that we could watch it from start to finish. It was a chance to get to see the relationships between the agents of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit grow. Plus we didn't have to wait months between the cliff hangers at the end of each season. The best part with "Criminal Minds" is we still have one more season to watch on DVD - last year will be released in September - and then we get to start with the latest season.
So now that we got caught up on "Criminal Minds," we decided to start watching "Gilmore Girls" and "Angel." The "Girls" we are getting from Netflix, and Angel we are watching on instant stream from Netflix. I have to say, though, my coworker was right. If I go a few days without watching an episode of the Gilmores, I feel a little bit of withdrawal. I love the quirkiness of the show and the sarcasm of mom Lorelai (Lauren Graham) and daughter Rory (Alexis Bledel.) The pair grew on me quickly and I like the supporting cast, including appearances by actors who appeared in other shows later in their careers such as Milo Ventimiglia and Adam Brody.
The one bad thing about watching a series that has already ended is that once I get to the last disc of the last season, there is nothing left to see. For now, I've got a few more seasons to go.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Emptying storage leads to some interesting finds
It's amazing sometimes the kind of things people will box up and store in the garage, or in the closet or under the bed. Or maybe it's just amazing the things that I will box up and store wherever I can find space.
I'm not quite as much of a pat rack as my dad or my sister, but I definitely hold on to things more than other people I know. I think it runs in the family because I remember visiting my grandmother's house when I was a kid and the counters were piled high with stuff. I don't really remember what the stuff was, but it was always there.
When my parents bought a house a few years ago and we moved from a townhouse to the new place, I thought I did a good job of purging all the necessary things in my life. I donated tons of books, DVDs and videos. I emptied out my closet to just the bare necessities. I got rid all the textbooks I'd been holding on to for years - after all, I didn't really need my psych textbooks from 10 years ago.
But it turns out the purge wasn't as good as I assumed it was. Just a few weeks ago, my mom finally decided to empty out a storage she rented before we moved. It was supposed to be a temporary space to throw some stuff until we cleaned the boxes out of the garage and could move it all back home. The garage is still pretty full - and we need to deal with that at some point - but now the contents of the storage are in the living room.
I had a box of old papers from elementary school and high school. I don't know why I would possibly have packed English papers and overheads for biology presentations. But there were a bunch of notebooks with poetry and journals, and creative writing projects, and I couldn't bring myself to toss those out. Even though I write all the time for the paper now, that stuff reminds me that someday I want to get back to that creative stuff.
I also had a bunch of programs from different theater productions, tickets from movies and brochures from when I was in Ireland. I also couldn't bring myself to through any of this stuff out. It's the kind of stuff that would be perfect for a scrapbook - if I scrapbooked. Instead the notebooks and the memorabilia is piled on the floor in my room until I have some free time to sort through all of it and put it with the other stuff stored under my bed.
I also found a pile of old VHS tapes, including a bunch with videos recorded from MTV. One was even labeled as my high school best friend's favorites. There were also about four boxes of random CDs, which I am slowly trying to go through and add to iTunes. Some of the music is really bad stuff - a soundtrack to Young Guns II, Jasmine Guy, Bell Biv Devoe - but some of it is decent. I've added some Beatles, Elton John and a bunch of old school dance music to my iPod.
The one nice surprise in the bunch is that I had a plastic tub full of clothes. It was slacks and shirts from when I worked at San Jose State before graduate school, and none of it fit when I packed it up. But since I've taken up running and working out again, all that stuff fits again. Some of it is out of fashion or I just don't like it anymore, but you can't really go wrong with gray slack pants.
Most of the stuff from the storage is going to be donated, and as for the CDs, anyone who wants some random music just let me know because we're not quite sure what to do with it all. It always feels good to toss out some of the clutter.
I'm not quite as much of a pat rack as my dad or my sister, but I definitely hold on to things more than other people I know. I think it runs in the family because I remember visiting my grandmother's house when I was a kid and the counters were piled high with stuff. I don't really remember what the stuff was, but it was always there.
When my parents bought a house a few years ago and we moved from a townhouse to the new place, I thought I did a good job of purging all the necessary things in my life. I donated tons of books, DVDs and videos. I emptied out my closet to just the bare necessities. I got rid all the textbooks I'd been holding on to for years - after all, I didn't really need my psych textbooks from 10 years ago.
But it turns out the purge wasn't as good as I assumed it was. Just a few weeks ago, my mom finally decided to empty out a storage she rented before we moved. It was supposed to be a temporary space to throw some stuff until we cleaned the boxes out of the garage and could move it all back home. The garage is still pretty full - and we need to deal with that at some point - but now the contents of the storage are in the living room.
I had a box of old papers from elementary school and high school. I don't know why I would possibly have packed English papers and overheads for biology presentations. But there were a bunch of notebooks with poetry and journals, and creative writing projects, and I couldn't bring myself to toss those out. Even though I write all the time for the paper now, that stuff reminds me that someday I want to get back to that creative stuff.
I also had a bunch of programs from different theater productions, tickets from movies and brochures from when I was in Ireland. I also couldn't bring myself to through any of this stuff out. It's the kind of stuff that would be perfect for a scrapbook - if I scrapbooked. Instead the notebooks and the memorabilia is piled on the floor in my room until I have some free time to sort through all of it and put it with the other stuff stored under my bed.
I also found a pile of old VHS tapes, including a bunch with videos recorded from MTV. One was even labeled as my high school best friend's favorites. There were also about four boxes of random CDs, which I am slowly trying to go through and add to iTunes. Some of the music is really bad stuff - a soundtrack to Young Guns II, Jasmine Guy, Bell Biv Devoe - but some of it is decent. I've added some Beatles, Elton John and a bunch of old school dance music to my iPod.
The one nice surprise in the bunch is that I had a plastic tub full of clothes. It was slacks and shirts from when I worked at San Jose State before graduate school, and none of it fit when I packed it up. But since I've taken up running and working out again, all that stuff fits again. Some of it is out of fashion or I just don't like it anymore, but you can't really go wrong with gray slack pants.
Most of the stuff from the storage is going to be donated, and as for the CDs, anyone who wants some random music just let me know because we're not quite sure what to do with it all. It always feels good to toss out some of the clutter.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Cupcake class should grade on a curve
So when I made my list of New Year's resolution and I put on the one (No. 12) about taking a class sometime this year, I was still hopeful that I would get that fellowship I applied for and be auditing awesome classes at Stanford. But since I am not enough of an egghead for Stanford, I had to have a back-up plan.Last Friday I took a cupcake decorating class. While I like to cook, I am not much for baking. I like to bake and I like to reap the rewards of baking, but I get a little overwhelmed at having to measure everything out precisely and waiting patiently for things to cook. A friend of mine said he likes baking because you just follow the instructions and you can't go wrong. But personally, I find that I can go wrong - and do - all the time. In fact, a few months ago when my mom and I baked a strawberry cake for my aunt's birthday, we improvised a little on the frosting. In the end more frosting ended up on the cake plate than on the actual cake. But I guess we didn't follow the instructions.
The class was offered through the community class offerings at Gavilan Community College. I've taken a few cooking classes and enjoyed them so the cupcake class sounded fun. Last fall, the class was offered and registration booked up before we could get in so this time I rsvp'ed early on.
Penny Perluss, the owner of Pennycakes in Gilroy, teaches the class and she kept it to the basics. Each classmate received six cupcakes - two chocolate, two lemon and two vanilla - and a bag of supplies. We had three types of icing and three basic cake decorating tips, three colors of fonda
nt and a cup of buttercream frosting to share. We also had a square sheet of plastic on which to practice our designs before putting them onto the cupcakes.
The first design was a daisy, with a green leaf, pink petals and a yellow center. The petals and center were easy enough. The tough part was getting the leaf tip to look like a leaf and not like a snack or random squiggle. It was a bit frustrating. After practicing, we did the design on our first cupcake and then practiced on one more. It was surprising to see how much better the second one looked than the first. For the next cupcake, we practiced a design with three dainty flowers. This design required use of a 5 or 4 point tip, and as it turns out, it requires a lot of pressure to push thick icing through a small hole. My arms got tired doing it. We also made a sunflower design, with the leaf tip, which I found the hardest to use. My sunflower looked a bit saggy compared to the one Perluss did as an example. But as she said at the beginning of the class, there's no doing anything wrong in cupcake decorating. I am sure, however, if the work were graded, I would definitely be below the curve.
I was pretty good with following along - as long as someone was telling me what tip to do and where to put things. But at the end, Perluss let us loose to play around with fondant, with only the guideline to create three different flowers. For anyone who doesn't know, fondant is sort of like surgary play-doh. It doesn't taste good and it gets really sticky if you handle it too much.
During the "free design" period of the class, I noticed that some of the other people in the class were doing extravegant or elegant designs. I was just trying to get three flowers done to meet the requirement of the teacher - even though this was a non-credit class. I made one flower that the teacher described as a mosaic, with petals and leaves shaped the way I used to make them when I'd doodle on my notebooks in class. Then I just made a simple flower with circles and a stem. For the last piece, I made a toadstool, but unfortunately the fondant cap was too heavy for the fondant stem so it kind of fell over.
While I probably will not work with fondant again, if I ever bake a cake I might try to use some of the design tools to make borders or flowers or stars. It was easy enough and it might make people think I actually know what I am doing when it comes to baked goods.
The best part of the class was eating a cupcake when I got home - although half a dozen was a bit too much for one so most of those went to waste. The worst part was my hands still smelling like buttercream and vanilla the next day. Apparently vanilla extract can get under your skin just as much as garlic.
Photos by Melissa Flores
A cupcake is decorated with pink and yellow flowers.
Fondant can be used to mold decorations, such as this toadstool.
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