Celebrities get all the good swag. Actually, that was one of the themes in "Funny People," which will be reviewed in the Weekend Pinnacle tomorrow. The main character George Simmons (Adam Sandler) is a jaded multi-millionaire comic who has just been given a terminal diagnosis. He befriends - in the loosest sense of the word - Ira Wright, an aspiring comedian, and hires him to write jokes, give all his stuff to charity and talk him to sleep at night.
In one of the scenes, George shows Ira all the things he's been given through the years. There are cars, sneakers, movie posters and plenty of other things. It is all stuff he doesn't need, but that Ira would be enthralled to have.
I've always said swag should be saved for people like me, not those who can afford it. Of course, in my line of work as a journalist, we really aren't supposed to accept gifts from sources. But I guess we have our own brand of swag as people try to persuade us into giving them positive press.
I've gotten a press pass for a film festival, free passes to Cirque du Soleil's "Kooza," and occasionally movies, CDs or books to review. The rule of thumb is that I only take tickets for shows I will review, and the movies, CDs and books are returned to the owner, or kept in the office for some future donation to charity.
But aside from the typical stuff, through the years, I've had some pretty weird things handed off in the places where I've worked. In South Africa, a man submitted to "The Cape Argus" his schizophrenic ramblings about being the son of James Dean. Major problems with the theory included the fact that the man was born in South Africa, a country to which Dean had never traveled, and he was born several years after the movie star died.
At "L.A. Parent," a free monthly parenting magazine, books, movies and children's toys were sent on a regular basis to the Burbank office. But when the Chinese film "Infernal Affairs" (which was later adapted into Martin Scorsese's Oscar-winning "The Departed") showed up in the mail slot I was confused, to say the least. I don't think a review of it would have fit in between the stories about children's birthday parties and Little League.
Here at the Pinnacle, we've received stranger things than that. The top two to make the list are tobacco mints and Vaporwater.
The mints came in two separate boxes under different brand names - "Ariva" and "Stonewall." There was no difference between the mints, according to a photographer who offered to try them out, but we figured it was a marketing thing and "Stonewall" was meant for the manly man, "Ariva" for the fairer sex. He said he got a little buzz off them, but mostly it upset his stomach.
The Arizona Vaporwater showed up in a heavy, cardboard box in two 1-liter water bottles. Now the word "vapor" reminds me of vapor rub and chest congestion, but apparently this water is electrolyte infused with calcium, magnesium and potassium. Again, one of the men in my office volunteered to try it out and said, "It just tastes like water." It's always been my policy not to partake if I am not going to write about it so I refrained from both those items. There is still a bottle of Vaporwater in the mini-fridge, emergency rations, I suppose.
Other items of note include books to review, DVDs, calendars, note cards, wine bottles, hats, backpacks and even, once, a pair of thong underwear. I'm still trying to figure that one out.
I have to say the best thing I ever got in the line of duty were homemade egg rolls. My photogrpaher and I went to the home of a little boy who had participated in a prestigious young scholars program. His grandfather made us snacks while we talked to the kids, and they were fresh out of the fryer when we were done. My photographer ate only six, saying he didn't want to make a pig of himself. It was too late.
I hope the kids keep being high acheivers, and maybe we'll get another chance to taste those egg rolls. Until then I'll hope for some free passes for the latest Cirque du Soleil tour that will be visiting next February. And if they do show up, I'll be sure to write all about it!
In one of the scenes, George shows Ira all the things he's been given through the years. There are cars, sneakers, movie posters and plenty of other things. It is all stuff he doesn't need, but that Ira would be enthralled to have.
I've always said swag should be saved for people like me, not those who can afford it. Of course, in my line of work as a journalist, we really aren't supposed to accept gifts from sources. But I guess we have our own brand of swag as people try to persuade us into giving them positive press.
I've gotten a press pass for a film festival, free passes to Cirque du Soleil's "Kooza," and occasionally movies, CDs or books to review. The rule of thumb is that I only take tickets for shows I will review, and the movies, CDs and books are returned to the owner, or kept in the office for some future donation to charity.
But aside from the typical stuff, through the years, I've had some pretty weird things handed off in the places where I've worked. In South Africa, a man submitted to "The Cape Argus" his schizophrenic ramblings about being the son of James Dean. Major problems with the theory included the fact that the man was born in South Africa, a country to which Dean had never traveled, and he was born several years after the movie star died.
At "L.A. Parent," a free monthly parenting magazine, books, movies and children's toys were sent on a regular basis to the Burbank office. But when the Chinese film "Infernal Affairs" (which was later adapted into Martin Scorsese's Oscar-winning "The Departed") showed up in the mail slot I was confused, to say the least. I don't think a review of it would have fit in between the stories about children's birthday parties and Little League.
Here at the Pinnacle, we've received stranger things than that. The top two to make the list are tobacco mints and Vaporwater.
The mints came in two separate boxes under different brand names - "Ariva" and "Stonewall." There was no difference between the mints, according to a photographer who offered to try them out, but we figured it was a marketing thing and "Stonewall" was meant for the manly man, "Ariva" for the fairer sex. He said he got a little buzz off them, but mostly it upset his stomach.
The Arizona Vaporwater showed up in a heavy, cardboard box in two 1-liter water bottles. Now the word "vapor" reminds me of vapor rub and chest congestion, but apparently this water is electrolyte infused with calcium, magnesium and potassium. Again, one of the men in my office volunteered to try it out and said, "It just tastes like water." It's always been my policy not to partake if I am not going to write about it so I refrained from both those items. There is still a bottle of Vaporwater in the mini-fridge, emergency rations, I suppose.
Other items of note include books to review, DVDs, calendars, note cards, wine bottles, hats, backpacks and even, once, a pair of thong underwear. I'm still trying to figure that one out.
I have to say the best thing I ever got in the line of duty were homemade egg rolls. My photogrpaher and I went to the home of a little boy who had participated in a prestigious young scholars program. His grandfather made us snacks while we talked to the kids, and they were fresh out of the fryer when we were done. My photographer ate only six, saying he didn't want to make a pig of himself. It was too late.
I hope the kids keep being high acheivers, and maybe we'll get another chance to taste those egg rolls. Until then I'll hope for some free passes for the latest Cirque du Soleil tour that will be visiting next February. And if they do show up, I'll be sure to write all about it!
Photo courtesy of Olivier Samson Arcand - The Chinese Chairs is one of several acts in "Kooza."
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