'Rejection' book offers a bit of humor

So when it comes to my first resolution to read more books this year, I've been doing a lot better at reading book reviews and compiling a list of books I might want to read in the future than doing the actual reading. I took a break and read two books last month - and now I am three months behind on my New Yorker magazines so I decided to take a little break again from the long-form materials.

I do read a lot of book reviews - some in the New Yorker, some in People Magazine and some in whatever other magazines I read while doing cardio at the gym. I've noticed that People Magazine, Entertainment Weekly and some other popular magazines all tend to run reviews of the same books. The New Yorker rarely offer reports on anything that is quite so mainstream and popular.

One of the recent book plugs in People is for one called "Other People's Rejection Letters" and it is edited by Bill Shapiro. At first, I thought it seemed like kind of a mean idea - poking fun at other people's lowest moments. After all, it's hard not to take any rejection a little personal. The few letters used by People's writers to illustrate the book are written by children - to a mother and a grandmother. One is just a kid saying they can't go with grandma because they have other plans and it's pretty funny seeing it in the large print of a young child's handwriting.

I guess rejection is sort of a universal thing. I know I have had my share of it - from friends who back out of plans, to breakups, to getting the brush off from a potential employer. I've gotten rejected by voicemail for a job I had already decided not to take. I've gotten e-mails, handwritten letters and in this new digital age I am sure I will eventually get rejected by text. The thing about rejection is that it smarts in the moment, but I have to say that most of my rejections end up to be funny stories down the road.

There was the rejection by my first sort of boyfriend, with whom I never really got past the "hanging out" phase when I was fifteen. After two-intense weeks of talking on the phone, holding hands and a kiss or two, he wrote me a short letter about how we needed to stop "hanging out" because of our different views on alcohol. It was news to me as we were 15 and the topic had never come up between us. Of course, the most recent time I saw him a couple years ago, he was pretty heavy into drinking so maybe he was right way back then.

And just a few months ago I reconnected with a former coworker on Facebook. We exchanged a few messages and all seemed well. In my last message to him I said if he ever wanted to catch a movie to let me know because I write a weekly movie column for the Pinnacle. And he never responded back. Message received.

Perhaps the book is really just a way to help everyone find a little humor in their past rejections and to realize that it really is a universal experience. It sucks to go through it, but I guess the optimistic way to look at it is that by risking the rejection we can end up with great opportunities, in love and jobs, and whatever else.

I haven't added the book to my to-read list yet, but I might get to it someday. After all, I'd hate to make editor Bill Shapiro.

A rough bit of rejection

I guess it was bound to happen, but I never thought it would happen to me. I got rejected on Facebook. That's right. I sent a friends request to someone and got turned down. It was a first, and I have to admit, I was a little taken aback.

Rejection stings no matter what the circumstance. And its one of those things in life that is impossible to avoid - unless you chose to live as a hermit, in which case the rejection is still there, it's just self-induced.

In my life so far, I've been rejected by two universities. I was accepted to all the undergrad schools to which I applied except for the West Coast stand in for an Ivy League, Stanford. But the truth is, Stanford was my fifth choice at best so it didn't really matter. Northwestern University also turned me down for its graduate program in magazine journalism. I had my heart set on it, but pep talks from coworkers and friends quickly helped me to see the benefits of going to the University of Southern California - namely no snow in the winters.


I've been rejected for jobs by a handful of prospective employers, including a coffeeshop, a prep school and a local newspaper. But again, things turned out for the best when I landed at the Weekend Pinnacle with a publisher who was willing to coach me and who saw my potential long before I did.

Of course, like most people, I've been rejected in love a time or two, or dozen. Some of the rejections have been crystal clear as with the guy who opted to have another beer rather than walk me to my car at 1 a.m. Other times, it was a little murkier, like my grad school crush who called me three times a week to find out what our homework assignments were and talked with me for hours on the phone, and even held my hand once, briefly on the way home from a bar.

I have to admit that I've done my share of rejecting - the colleges that accepted me that I turned down, for starters. And the men whose advances I've spurned. I've even turned down quite a few job applicants in my time.

The thing with rejection is that in hindsight, it always works out for the best.

But I guess that is what perplexes me about the Facebook friends request rejection. I can't imagine a time I will look back and think it was for the best. In the scheme of things, Facebook is such a small thing, but that is perhaps what makes the rejection sting a little. After all, someone doesn't like me enough to be online acquaintances with me.

Once I got over the initial shock of the rejection, I did what any normal person would do. I sent out another friends request to an old grad school friend and within hours I got the message that we are now friends. After all, if there is one thing I've learned about rejection it's to get back up and try again. Someone's bound to say yes sooner or later.